Let off some steam
 
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I know why unemployment is so high; employers.  It’s their fault I can’t find a good job.  I’m pretty sure I’m the first person in history to blame someone else for their problems.  Hmmmm.  After saying that, I strangely have the urge to go pick up my wealthfare check, create some bastard children, beat them, commit a felony, and scatter car parts on my front lawn.

But in all seriousness they are assholes.  I realize that on paper my situation looks bleak.  I understand that after 8 years of college and the only thing I have to show for it is a certificate in computer animation, which doesn’t exactly put me in the best light.  Six years in customer service doesn’t really help me get into the field of graphic design.  I understand all of this, so I have acted accordingly by searching for entry level positions.  I have been realistic.

Week after week, almost every job posting I find reads something like this:

...Data Entry Position:
Requirements:  Must have 7 years experience. Bachelor's degree required, Master’s preferred...

As exaggerated as this may seem, I shit you not, I have seen postings where they asked for 15 years experience for an entry level position.  I suspect that one of two things is going on here.  Either they don’t know what the term entry level means, or they see the high unemployment rate as an opportunity to get a broader sample of applicants, thereby allowing them to hire the absolute best person they could ever imagine hiring for that position.  They are not being realistic.


If you don’t know what entry level means, I did the grunt work for you and Googled it (see what a go-getter I am!).


“...[A] position offered to an inexperienced person, that usually pays low wages but provides training and experience and the prospect of future advancement...”


So let’s take a look at this as it relates to you and me.  Let’s start with me since I am more important.  I take a job that pays less money because of my inexperience.  They real payment is what I will be able to put on my future resumé.  In return, you get an employee whom you don’t have to pay as much.  In addition to a cheap employee, you also get one with fire in his belly.  One who is there to learn and make sure the job is done right.  One who will make your company better as a residual effect of trying to make himself better.  You also get the right to put some sort of tag line that you’re, “bringing America into the future,” or “training the youth for tomorrow,” or whatever feel good line you would like to insert.


In these uncertain times, you would prefer to have a more seasoned worker who knows their way around, which is understandable.  I’m sure you’ve been burned before with slacker employees.  But if you get what you prefer, I would suspect that would not be in your best interest.  Have you ever known anyone to get their Master’s with the intention of starting at the bottom, or getting paid just above minimum wage?  Right off the bat you’re going to be getting someone who is expecting to be paid more.  You also get someone who has already done plenty of grunt work in their days.  Answering phones may be beneath them by now.  So when the files haven’t been put away properly because your star employee has decided to pursue the more scholarly and profitable aspects of the position, just remember that I’m still here for you, for less.


I feel that it’s about time for employers to lower the bar.  Lowering the bar is not going to flood the job market with riffraff.  Instead, it will allow those who can limbo, to limbo.  I’m begging for someone to let my foot in the door so that in 7 years I can apply to another entry level position.  I fear that if this goes on for too long,  I’ll actually be able to make iratemate.com profitable.  I’ll never have to leave my apartment.  I won’t gain any real world experience.  Then I will be the one who is out of touch with reality, and it will be the fans who suffer after reading the 8th mundane post in a week about how much I hate dirty dishes.

 


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